Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Pretenders : or just the Actors...

Hey Friends...

Welcome back... :-)
Today in this lazy warm winter afternoon , I am here to write something again... :-| Ohk... I am "trying to" write something again ;-) and please forgive me in case you feel like getting bored or fu***d up after reading this :-P because I am myself back after giving two exams on consecutive days... x-( . From last 3 n half years , I have been giving the same reasons to most of my friends for not being in touch , "Sorry yar , exams the... " , "Heyy , belated Happy Birthday... next time pakka yaad rakhungi... promise.... " , "minors this time" , "majors that time"... and blah blah blah.... What else can be expected from an engineering student who has to face two minors , minor practicals , major practicals and major end sems every 5 months??? On an average , six exams every month!!! :-/
But with time everything comes to an end. And by everything I don't just mean the exams and college life but some friendships and many illusions , some moments and many experiences ... We all create a dreamworld for ourselves and start living in it with everything and every person of our wish... that we think is perfect for us. And then those wishes with in no time take the form of our needs giving rise to expectations and hopes. To fulfill those expectations a person starts doing all sort of things that he himself is unaware of. Like in an urge to become famous in a group or community , people try to impress others , some by showing off their expensive possessions , others do the same through their sweet and kind words , no matter they actually mean what they say or not. But then what do they actually want from others by doing all that crap?
Attention? Respect? Love?
Or something else?
Well , most of the times it is just because that they need to prove their superiority over others!!! And when this feeling starts giving them immense pleasure it becomes their only need and they get addicted to that.
But if it s only attention that you need from others , then how can you call them your friends??? They should be called your followers instead!!!
"This world is a stage and we are all actors" : something like that by William Shakespeare. ;-) (sorry but it is really very hard for me to remember the exact words always... ;-) ) Anyways , so everyone is just an actor who is supposed to play his role on this stage called world , according to Mr. Shakespeare. But what about those actors who start pretending to be like someone else, some other actor?
Kind and sweet words always win hearts, but what if when you know the ugly truth behind those beautiful and polite words??? Can you still respond in the same way you used to before knowing that??? Hmm... too difficult , in fact impossible for me for most of the times. It is better to be called arrogant and rude rather than joining the company of those who wear different masks in front of different people. Sometimes I wonder how do people change not only the meaning of their words but themselves completely just to show others that they are moving ahead of time and no one can beat them. But is it really worth changing yourself completely , looking and behaving like someone else who you think is a perfect example of modern and ideal world ??? Some people when asked put all the blame on "the situations" they had to face , the unwanted "adjustments" they had to make to remain in pace with the world. Well , for me it is just the lack of will power and willingness that make you and your principles to mutate everytime !!! Individuality and originality are the two things that are always appreciated and that last forever... So , always do what your heart says but don't ever neglect your very own faithful and beautiful mind too... ;-) ... just a thought , not an advice :-) .

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mistakes... What I learnt from them...

You must be wondering "what an idiot , didn't she have any better idea to start her very first blog ???"(though this is my third , but posting for the first time ;-) ) .

Well friends... this is me... Shalini , and I welcome you here . I used to write a lot in childhood days (3-4 years back ;-) ) and tear those pages after sometime :-p (you must have understood now why i wrote "childhood" ;-) ) . But now after such a long time , finally "trying to " write something which i am not sure ll have some meaning but does everything that we read has got meaning??? Yeah... it does... but don't expect much from here ;-) .
Anyways , enough introduction. Now coming back to the topic."Mistakes...".
So , what do we learn from our mistakes? Well,very simple answer... not to repeat them in future. But in my case I think what I have learnt is to make even bigger mistakes . :-| yes , and this thought is bugging me the most these days. Am I really that stupid or just fooling myself ? about what... that even i have to find out. May be it is just the tension about my future (it is the final sem :-( ) or is it something else? I really don't have any idea. :-|

From the very first standard in school , I was always made the class monitor. Reason : quite obvious . :-/ But at that time I used to enjoy the power , then after passing out from primary , I came to know that my classmates had given me the title "Hitler" . But I never deviated from the path that I was following unknowingly . And as a result I was awarded with even better titles : bandit queen , jhansi ki rani , policewali . Then after school , I wanted no one from my school or anyone i knew earlier to be in the same college as that of mine so that I could create a better image this time ;-) and my destiny took me to Hindu College , DU's one of the most renowned college. The first couple of months there were just superb but later I realized that that was not the right place for me , so came to IGIT !!! And what makes it so special? It is a girls' college. :-| . One thing that I always had in my mind was , that whatever happens , I ll never go to any girls' college. Reason : quite obvious ;-) , naah... it s just because though the probability of fighting with guys is more than that with gals but probability of talking again after fight is also more in the former case :-D . Ohh yeah... I am a Capricorn... born warrior n rebel :-D . So here comes to an end the story of the first mistake ;-) . But one thing that I am damn sure is that , I ll be missing my IGIT a lot after sometime :-( .
Gauche , I have grown too old. x-( !!! Final sem... :-( But still the best compliment that i get when I go to some family gathering or any function is " Ohh Shalu beta , you are looking verrrry sweet!!! " (as if i am wearing a baby outfit with two ponies on my head and a balloon in my hand !!! x-( ). WTF!!! Someone tell them that I am about to pass out from college!!! Even good will do but sweet... eww... :-/ Now , what is my mistake here, even I don't know. All I know is that according to those aunties and uncles I become even younger with age... That means I ll vanish in air very soon... :-o
The choices that we make in every phase of our life shape our future accordingly. Some choices make you feel proud while some others force you to call them "experiences" if in case you just want to fool yourself by denying the fact that you really regret making them. And the credit of naming them as experiences goes to our very own "EGO" . In a way, it is right also otherwise no one can ever stay happy because every person , at some stage takes some or the other wrong decision. When the choices were wrong because they were bad , you can still call them mistakes but what will you do when you know that this time your choice is the best, but still it is wrong ??? What will you call it??? Well , I call it "THE BIGGEST MISTAKE" .