Is It Really that Difficult ?

You fool , you are down again? injured yourself? Happy now?

What a nice way to ask , isn't it? Just leave. I don't want you to be here. (sigh)
What's new in that?
Still!!!
What still? Don't make excuses now. x-(
(silence) ...
Hello? Now speak something! I know you can still talk.
The way you are talking is making things even more frustrating for me. And then you are asking me to respond. How can you even expect me to say anything? Don't you know everything ?
Yes, I know.
Then , why do you always have to ask n make everything worse n duller. Stop it now. and Leave me alone.
That you are already, isn't it? How much more loneliness you want to hold inside?
(silence) ...
If I also leave you right now , then who s gonna take care of you my sweetheart? ;-)
You call this caring? concern? But lemme tell you one thing I really don't need your advices or your shoulder to cry upon!!!
Who is giving away any? Am I? No. I am just asking you something.
What is there that is hidden from you? You know everything. I have lost faith. I don't want anything , anyone... All I want right now is a place where I can leave everything aside and go in a deep long sleep and there 'd no one , no reason left that could wake me up ever. End up everything in one go.
And I know , now you want to call me a coward , useless soul n all that crap again. Well call me anything, it hardly matters to me. I have become quite numb.
If you had become numb, You'd have never felt this way... :-)
(no answer) ...
OK, tell me one thing. Is it happening for the first time that you are feeling like dying or hibernating or whatever you call it ?
No.
Then what's new this time? That s what I want to ask. You felt like this before too but came out of it later, isn't it?
Never like this.But yeah somehow similar, and it s just because that I am attached with few strings that do not allow me to leave everything behind and follow what i want. But it took hell lot of time to me to realize that.
Look around , you ll find many more crying souls like you. You are no special!
I know, and stop lecturing.
Let me complete what I am saying. So, I was saying that everyone around has some or the other problem in this world , how you are different?
So???
So, if you also behave like that then you 'd be lost in the crowd of morons n crying souls who are good for nothing. You think your wound is deepest , you feel that your pain is something that no one else can understand. But who actually wants to know that? No one!!!
But I can not be a joker all the time. Someone who is full of enthu n energy whenever you look towards at. Even I have the right to feel what I like, what I love...
You have that right, fine! But you have no right to desire for something that is not your's!!! Why should you fear for losing something that was never there with you ? Many more people you ll meet n places you ll visit in your life, but you can not stop at just one place thinking that this is your destination.
Then?
Then , nothing. Do what you are good at.
What am I good at?
Dreaming ...
Dream for what? and btw on one hand you ask me not to keep any desires n on the other, you are suggesting me to forget everything and dream. You know something, you are even more confused than me!
Hmm... i guess you are right. But one thing that I know for sure is that if there is anything that you dream for is destined for you , then it ll be your's !!! It s a fact.
Blah blah blah...
Shut up!
I won't. If you can say whatever you want then why can't I?
Because I am your senior.
Senior? hello , we came in this world together!!!
No, you idiot. Whose level is higher? In fact at the top? Mine !!!
Then why do you come down every now and then to show your "concerns" for me?


Because no one else loves you, in fact no one else can ever love you more than i do... ;-)

When your existence seems meaningless...

It is only you and the darkness within you,

the darkness inside that covers everything outside too.

You feel like going into a long sleep,

where no one is there to disturb your peace.

No one is there to ask you what you are up to,

what is the purpose of you being there.

What you have gained and what you lost,

and if you lost then the reason for that.

Everything is calm,

nothing to worry for.

But you just wish if it was possible,

in reality it is not.

Are you a coward???

You are searching for the purpose,

but don't you know that already?

Yes,I know!

But I am tired.

I just don't wanna carry this burden on my shoulders anymore,

when there is no meaning of doing what I am suposed to do.

The burden of some goals & many expectations,

some guilts & many uncertainities.

Tired??? of what???

You have not done anything yet!!!

Who are you?

What are you?

Nothing, I know.

Sitting in the darkness, alone,

no where to go.

There is just emptiness , 

& the hollowness inside.

No reason to fight,

no drive that could bring some pace to life.

No words that could break this silence,

no smile that could make everything bright.

Just a duty that has to be done,

and to be done with a smile.

The silence will prevail,

and there can be no escape to that.

Sometimes you ll  love the peace and feel blessed,

and sometimes it ll howl so loud that you would wish you were dead.

But there is certainly no escape from the thing called, Life!!!